You have got to be kidding me: Microsoft Sidewinder Mouse

OK, so I stumbled upon Microsoft's newest mouse, the Sidewinder. Instantly I was reminded of when EVERYONE had a sidewinder gaming pad, back in the duke nukem days. So I figured I would give it a look.

Click here to <begin rant>

Now, I don't really have anything against this mouse, it's just the way they hype up their mouse as if everything about it is freaking amazing and alien technology.

We’re taking gaming mice to a new level with a mouse created in direct response to gamer feedback from all over the world; it offers superior customization and performance handling,” said Bill Jukes, product marketing manager for Microsoft Hardware. “We found that gamers are a lot like performance car enthusiasts. They like to tweak and tune their mouse to get it just right, and today we are giving them the tools to create a personalized experience that lets them focus on what’s important: being at the top of their game.

Oh come on! If we are comparing this mouse to a car, at least be a bit more accurate... the "customization" is more like adjusting your seat and steering wheel before you drive to your neighborhood Kroger. It's not like plugging in this mouse is instantly going to improve my brains ability to point and click with deadly accuracy.

"With all the features in this new mouse, gamers can transform their mouse into nearly 5,000 different mice from a single system."

Wow, 5,000 mice? I wonder how many different mice are in my little Logitech mouse? I can change the sensitivity in games, and I suppose I could always go buy some different teflon feet for it. That must be good for at least a few thousand by that rational.

OK, there are way too many funny things in this article so I am just going to point out a few more of the insane claims.

"Turn on a dime. The new Quick Turn feature — a performance-enhancing macro — is built right into the software and lets users check their perimeter at any angle from wherever they are in the game with the click of a button."
-Sweet, so with this mouse... I can TURN AROUND? Amazing!

"Instantly switch between DPI settings."
-Boomslang anyone?

"With the first LCD on a gaming mouse, gamers can easily keep track of key gaming actions — including their DPI and steps for recording macros — without being distracted from the game."
-Wouldn't me looking away from the screen to stare at my mouse to see what DPI I'm running, in itself, be a distraction from the game?

"When the Quick-Launch button is pressed from within Windows Vista, it will bring up the Windows Vista Games Explorer so gamers can instantly see the games available in their PC’s game library."
-If you don't even know what the hell games are installed on your computer, you probably shouldn't be buying an $80 gaming mouse. Beyond that, you probably aren't running Vista either.

"Two vertical side buttons. This side placement allows gamers to feel exactly which button they’re pressing, thereby reducing the risk of executing the wrong command midgame."

Seriously, if anyone buys this mouse. Please review it for me, cause I am dying to know if this mouse is as mind blowing as they are making it out to be.

If you see any more funny stuff in the article, please feel free to leave your own comments!